Exam results (3rd July 2005)

I got my provisional result on that day and unless something extraordinary happens, I'll be graduating with a 2.1 (second upper) degree. Technically, this means an average of 60 to 70% but in my case, my average was 58.3%. According to the 3rd year supervisor, the examination board examined my results and my past results and decided that I'm worthy of the promotion to 2.1.

Personally, I'm quite happy and relieved to get a quite good degree since I did slack off for my 2nd and 3rd year. But because I did slack off, there will always be the sense of disappointment that I could have done much, much better. If I had worked hard, I probably would have gotten a 1st class. Or at the very least, I would not have to worry about failing or not getting a degree in the week between the end of exams and the results coming out. Also, I definitely won't appreciate the degree because I did not deserve it.

This is my personal example for all those who always said being smart is good enough. True, I did better than some who worked harder than me, but it's not something I'll ever be proud of or be satisfied with. Having felt both ends of the spectrum, I think I can safely say I'd rather fail knowing I did my best than to do well without working hard. It's like getting a present for doing nothing. You won't appreciate it and it'll probably be something best forgotten. Not something I'd like to say about my degree.

Oh! And if anyone says there are those who would really wish they could get my kind off degree, I would be happy to give it to them. I'd rather earn a lower degree than get a high degree that's not earnt.

Oh well, looking on the bright side, I have manage to put some of my own philosophy to the test and I'm quite happy to say, I do live up to my words. Though there was that worry of failing, I stuck to my philosophy that it's over with and there's nothing I can do about it. So, I never worried about my results but only discuss it when someone brings up the subject. As a result, I had quite a good time that week.

Also, this also proves that smartness does help quite a bit but in the long run, it's not the done deal. Also, hard work is much preferable since it won't leave a sense of disappointment or a bad taste in the mouth in the end.

I also realize how valuable that first year back in Taylor's was. Though it wasn't valuable academically (at least, not much), it was extremely precious to me doing well enough to earn the push to the 2.1. Many a times I find myself being able to explain notes to my friends though I have not gone through them myself. In fact, I can put the reasons behind my lower results due to

1. cannot remember the right points/formulas to use in the situation
2. not having time because was solving problems slower as it's not second nature to me

Both reasons could have been remedied if I had studied earlier and much harder. So, for me, studying was not exactly for understanding the notes but to make it second nature to me. Also made me realize the importance of understanding everything I do study and not just memorize blindly. Because memory work can be forgotten and can only be applied in limited applications. But understanding is something that I can bring to the grave and can be applied in many more situations.

This is also motivation for me not to procrastinate anymore. Partly why I failed to study was the failure to get started until it was too late. (Note: still having problems in this area but hopefully, it's something I can discipline soon).

All in all, this degree has taught me a lot of lessons, all of which are invaluable. Course, I wouldn't have wished for it but I'm not really wishing that it'll go away either.